I must say it is amazing the number of people that are moving. An even larger number of those same people are freaked out by said moving. Moving holds no fear for me. Hell, if I am somewhere that has english speaking people then I feel fine. I can get by. But recently there has been the introduction of an individual that has taken that God-given and Parent-honed ability to find harmony where I am. I miss Samantha so throughly that my chest hurts. This woman is amazing. She continues to outpace my expectations. She truly is a magnificent person. I am in Amsterdam. As I told my parents, "that implies a lot of things that have never been truer." That statement still holds true. I am out of my mind stoned. I crave Samantha. I have hunted down internet shop after internet shop to stay in contact, the same way a mouse wishing to cross the room will still scurry along the baseboard. I cling to my words exchanged with her with the same instinctual desire to survive as a hunted mouse. She is consuming me and I her. This absence has somehow brought us closer by keeping us apart. I know it sounds logical but it doesn't feel that way. This desire, hell, this love, is crafting my existence. I cannot separate myself from the woman I love or the way I feel about her. My love for her is a part of me. I love her. I guess this is as public as I can get. I love Samantha.